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About Sarah-Silent forever April 29, 2006

Posted by makingyourdashcount in photos.
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In looking for outlets for my pent up creative side, I enrolled in our Parks and Rec Photography class. This week's assignment is to play with light to compose the most effective photo.

This is my first attempt. I really like the picture, even though the title on this post is a bit morose. It does sadden me that I can't bear to let Sarah's viola go, because keeping it silences it. However, it was no less a part of who she was than her left leg, so by keeping it, I get to keep part of her. I find this picture comforting, in a backhanded unsettling way.

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Comments»

1. lesli - May 1, 2006

This is my first time on a blog. I feel so 2006 now, and also a bit like I’m reading your diary. But if you say it’s o.k. I’ll keep reading.

2. Shelley - May 2, 2006

Betsy,
The truth isn’t morose; it is what it is. Don’t apologize for the title. Sarah’s death is sad and it was untimely. Silent Forever is a good title and illicits the emotions it should. (and it’s a great photo.)

Don’t feel like you should let Sarah’s viola “go.” There are no rules, no policies and procedures for your experience. Do what feels right. At the right time, it may feel right to give it away to the right person, and then again it may never happen. Maybe an underprivileged child will want to play; maybe Anna’s child will someday want to play; there are a slew of maybes we can’t imagine. But trust yourself. When the time comes, you’ll know what to do.

I understand about keeping things to be close to someone.

After Lou died, I was devasted when our weekly cleaning person changed his sheets. It never occured to me to say not to. I lost his smell. And my mother insisted upon cleaning out his closet after he died, so I couldn’t smell his clothes. (Cleaning out his closet was almost as bad as the funeral…it was too soon to clean out his closet). Listen to your gut and do what feels right. Don’t listen to anyone else. I was too weak to argue. (But I kept his bathrobe and still wear it.) And I don’t feel guilty.

I don’t find your photo unsettling. I find it comforting, and you should too.

3. makingyourdashcount - May 3, 2006

thanks Shelley.. you know I value your experience. We each have to deal with the death of the people we love on our own schedule. And you are right; some people see it as not accepting.. I think it is more not wanting to forget.


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